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My Testimony
A Seed Planted
My testimony is so hard to give because I don't like to think about the situation from where I came from but, if it can help even just one person for me to share it then I will. I was raised by my Grandmother when I was little and I am thankful for that because it allowed me to have a small seed planted in my youth. She is a Pentecostal woman. I always have considered her a strong woman for taking on children that were not hers. She is very strict but, I'm also very proud of that because as I have grown older I have come back to my roots.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6Okay even though I was raised in church and I knew God and what He could do. I also at a very young age was saved I chose to go back and forth. There was always a falling away for me. I was a "troubled" teen that suffered with suicidal thoughts. My mother didn't know what to do with me and honestly I didn't know what to do with myself. I had my first drink of alcohol at age 14 and smoked marijuana at the same age. I also smoked cigarettes and was extremely "boy" crazy. I had unprotected sex for the first time at age 14 to someone that I thought I loved and would marry. From that point on I continued in various relationships that ended in heartbreak and left me feeling used.
I was looking for love and affection in the wrong places and instead of honouring my mother and father I was giving them grief because I thought at the time that they deserved it.
As a I grew older I started to take pills. Mostly nerve pills and I had been prescribed many antidepressants that only made things ten times worst. I attempted suicide a total of 3 times I think and had been hospitalized 2 times for depression and anxiety. After nerve pills and after a failed marriage and my first daughter was born in 2006.
In 2010 I was introduced to the drug Crystal Meth. I was extremely drunk one night and dry heaving into a bag and someone offered this drug to me and said it would help. I feel so ashamed that I was not wise enough to say no thank you. Anyways, it sobered me completely and needless to say I was hooked from that point on. I know that for 6 months straight I did this drug. I didn't ever do any of it around my daughter but I also wasn't there for her either.
This is something I have held guilt over for a long time and until recently I had held on to that guilt but, what I have come to learn is that you love them TODAY because that is what is happening. The past isn't happening. Right now is happening and that is what we need to focus on.
Okay during those 6 months I did Meth every day. I smoked it and snorted it. I lost track of time and the longest that I know that I stayed up was 4 days and I remember a certain moment when I was at someone's house and was coming out of the basement and when I got to the top I forgot where I was and what I was doing. This drug eats away at your brain! I didn't know anything really about Meth while I was doing it other then it gave me energy and kept me going all the time.
The turning point to me becoming extremely hooked was when I had lost my job and decided to make quick cash as a dancer.. I thought that I would be in and out pretty quickly and could find another job. That is the illusion that My Flesh and the Devil painted me but what I didn't know was that I would get stuck!
I met a boy that could offer me any drug that I wanted. I experimented with Cocaine but because it gave me so many nose bleeds and I had to do it a lot more often I decided it wasn't for me. I also tried pain pills and ecstasy but Meth was my drug of choice. Anyways, I confused love for him with love for the drug. We had a fleeting relationship, I didn't know that he had another girlfriend and that is what ultimately ended the relationship plus the effects of Meth on my mind truly drove me crazy.
He introduced me to some people that I thought would be my best friends and it ultimately ended up being the place I stayed which was "a drug house". My "boyfriend" introduced me to this man and then abandoned me at that house. It is very HARD for me to talk about that house because so many bad things happened to me there. I started seeing things "shadow people which now I know what they are", I started hearing things, I was always jumpy and scared and I had forgotten my daughter.
It got to the point that I went to get yard sale stuff from my mom to sale for a 'car payment' and I knew it was a lie when I went to get the things she was giving me and I know she knew too but, I think because she loved me so much she didn't want to face that I was a drug addict and close to death.
Anyways I sold a lot of it and spent every bit of it on Meth.I did drugs daily, I was involved in fornication, adultery, and so many other things in that house….
It's funny who God uses to get your attention.
He used a fellow addict to get mine and to get me out of that house. This guy happen to be a cook and he had come and noticed I was very jumpy and weepy a lot. I had been sleeping with a knife on my chest because I was so paranoid. I had already pulled a weapon on someone that had been in my room while I was gone and I was EXTREMELY unhealthy. I had gotten below 90 lbs and I'm sure I was dehydrated and malnourished and everything else. This guy talked to me about demons and about how he knew the people in the house had them there.
He also told me he knew people that could help me.I spent a full night there where these things attacked me. I thought I was suffocating….I didn't sleep…The next day he said he had somewhere to take me.
I said a prayer while he was in the house "Jesus, if you hear me, help me"That is all I said. He got in the car and drove me down some roads. We stopped at a house and did dope for a minute then got back in the car. The whole time I was scared SO scared and I was trembling. Those things knew where we were going and they didn't like it because
THEY KNOW who God is!He took me to this church but no one was there. He drove me by Brother Walters house but, no one was there and then he took me down this road and deliberately drove me past the house we were going to be at to see if I would know where we were going and I knew because I was so scared I didn't want to get out of the car. So, I get out of the car and I go in and I am speaking to this man and he is talking to me and I can't help but look at all the mirrors and television because I see things in them and I am really scared and shrinking into the couch. His wife Melissa shows up and she starts talking to me about Jesus and I eventually get so upset that I start screaming that is when GOD showed up. I remember her asking me if I wanted help. I told her YES. I knew something was wrong and I knew I wanted whatever it was gone. It was all very fuzzy when God showed up. I know I remember screaming "GET THESE THINGS OUT OF ME" I remember vomiting and I remember after a while it getting quiet and I came to and when I opened my eyes…..
I felt different. I seen a heavenly glow all around me.I remember feeling peace, happiness, meekness….I had went from being so scared and cold so cold, to being warm and filled with this love! Everytime they would pray my head would hang because of the power of God. He was purifying me!
HE had delivered me!I KNEW what had happened and I knew there could not be demons without Angels and satan without GOD! THE ALMIGHTY GOD! The first thing I wanted to do was call my momma and to talk to her and talk to my daughter and tell them I was coming home! HOME I was so happy to be going to see my baby and my mom.
I was wearing some chains around my neck and around my wrist and they signified to me bondage so I broke them off and through them out as far as I could and I knew I was free!From the bondage of Meth, From bondage that I had been under so long! God delivered me. On the way home Melissa told me to look up at the sky and I WISH so bad that I had taken a picture that day but it was like the clouds were painted just for me!
The clouds were formed like angels holding trumpets all lined up in a row in celebration for the victory that was won that day in my life!My little girl was in those clouds waiting for me and I will NEVER forget that day. Never forget what God did and Never forget any of it! God has done so much for me since 2010. He has molded me. I now have my daughter and my 8 month old as well. I am married to a Godly man that I met 2 years ago and stuck by me in my walk and my stubbornness.
For so long I ran from my calling that God put on my life and since I have stepped into it I have seen so much happen!I could NEVER go back to what I was. That life is dead to me. I do not desire Meth! He also delivered me from cigarettes and He has made me a better mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter! I don't know what that means to anyone else but I have to give Glory to God for my life! If it weren't for Him I would still be in that bondage!
I also want you to know I didn't need rehab.I didn't need anything but God. It is a daily walk with him. Your Flesh is battling your spirit but, JESUS truly paid the price for us and everyone that says that the things that the disciples did in the bible no longer apply.
I am here to tell you that your wrong!!! God still works miracles and HE still uses the people in His Kingdom but it based on their measure of Faith.God has truly blessed me and given me so many gifts to use for the Purpose of His kingdom. I pray that this testimony will reach someone that has been where I have been because I am here to tell you God is greater then that drug, that depression, that demonic force! He restores families and then adds to it! I AM A SERVANT FOR MY Lord and I want to give you the story of HOPE! God can and will deliver because He delivered me! I prayed only a small prayer and He heard! That seed blossoming… And the Testimony will go on and on because God never stops working! HALLELUYAH!
They Cast 7 demons from me..Before God Showed UP! After God Showed UP!
I love you guys! Go With God and if you need prayer or need anyone to talk to I am here! Sincerely, Sarah
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